I guess it is finally time to share what graduate program I plan on attending fall of 2022. Drum roll please . . . Johns Hopkins SAIS in Bologna! Woo! If you would have told me that I would be making this decision 6 months ago I would have been shocked and ridiculously overjoyed - and probably a little impressed. That's right folks, I am packing up and moving to Italy. I feel so grateful that not only has this program really made an amazing impression on me, but they also happened to offer my the largest grant out of any of the schools. So, sorry to all the other schools that I was accepted to (UT, NYU, Rice, Georgetown, UPenn, UC Boulder, UC San Diego) and screw you to all the schools that I was rejected from (Yale, Columbia, Berkeley).
I cannot begin to explain how stressful making this decision has been. Yes, I know that I am so lucky to have had such a heard decision to make, but that doesn't really relieve me of any anxiety you know! Regardless, my mind is now moving to a different place to exert the anxious energy: How the hell am I going to pack up my life and move across the ocean? I guess I am just going to have to do it, simple as that. Right now I am here, next year I'll be there. Perfect. How simple was that? I am so excited to see the individual, academic, and professional growth I will have made in the next 12 months. I am going to miss home though, especially Alex, but I know everyone is nothing but proud and excited for me to start this journey. It is moments like these where I stop and think, "Wow - I love my life." A Presto Italy!
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What a fantastic weekend in New Orleans. Friday, we took off in the squad "bus" that was really just a large van, and took off from Houston. Along the way, we drank many beers, jammed to many songs, and snacked on many snacks - all in preparation of tomorrows race! After pushing SO hard, I finished the 10k in 45:19. I am ecstatic about that time, even though I did not meet my goal. Although, my watch and Strava both said that the race was 6.3 miles rather than 6.2, and Alex's dads watch said the same (but his mothers said 6.2). Regardless, I am proud myself because of how hard I pushed myself through the race. I really did want to give up at certain points, but it is also so hard to give up when you are working so hard to be so close to meeting your goal. Everyone on the group was SO proud of me, and honestly, I don't think I have ever felt such a level of encouragement and praise in my life - I almost teared up! This is especially when Alex and I walked back from picking up a poster. The top 500 finishers get a poster, and based on everyones reactions, it is kind of a big deal. Well, I got a poster! I finished 328 overall, top 50 female, and 8th in my age group. Here is a link to me finishing, and boy do I look TIRED! www.youtube.com/watch?v=80Qxflq2gx4&t=23m44s After everyone finished the race we drank beer, danced, and partied for hours at the post-race festival thing. It was such a good time, and a good feeling to be surrounded by people who had just pushed themselves to do something really hard and impressive. Speaking of impressive, Alex KILLED IT at the race. He did the full 10k without stopping to walk even once, and he even drank some beer along the way. He has not ran more than three miles in years, so for him to push himself to do that at the race is so incredible. This guy impresses me so much everyday, I am so lucky to be able to be the lady by his side! Anyway, after exhausting ourselves, we went out to lunch at this Mexican food place (I am blanking on the name, Felipe's maybe?) that had fantastic vegan options. Once getting back to the hotel, we all went down to the pool to get in the perfectly cool water and lay out and nap by the sun. Afterwards, most people took a nap, but Alex and I decided to watch basketball instead. It is playoffs, after all. Following nap time, the squad went out for dinner but in craving a delicious and vegan dinner, Alex and I went our own way and had dinner at this delicious Brazilian restaurant, Carno. It was so cute - it had live music, art everyone, a little theater and a mini library! Once we finished up we met up with everyone else on Bourbon and the kiddos (who were over 21) went out on Bourbon street for some drinks and dancing. Shoutout to The Dungeon for being the creepiest bar ever. We couldn't stay out too late, since we were so tired, and I am pretty sure we were fast asleep by midnight. ![]() As per tradition, Sunday morning, or Easter morning, called for an Easter Egg Hunt, which is by far the most fun holiday activity I think. More fun the trick-or-treating for sure. I appreciate the mom's so much for putting that together for us. To think they were worried we were to old - hah! Each egg had a $1 bill, which came in use for visiting the French Market. Alex and I didn't buy anything besides food, but we came across this stand called Meals from the Heart and got a delicious vegan sausage po'boy. After shopping around, we left and booked our way home. Sadly - Alex and I were unable to find a vegan beignet in New Orleans (or Louisiana in general). This means that I have to try my hand at making it from scratch, and I will hopefully add it to my recipes on this page! I want to thank the Raterinks and the Petty's for including me in this tradition and allowing me to race for the first time ever under the best circumstances (aka fantastic people!). I also want to thank Alex for being the most encouraging and caring boyfriend I could ever ask for. Hopefully, I will come down to NOLA for Easter and race in the Crescent City Classic with the team again! ![]() The weekend before my birthday, Alex and I took off on a camping trip to Martin Dies State Park. This fulfilled my impatience to get away with him for some quality time and escape to our comfort zone - camping. This proved to be ironic as this time we probably struggled the most we ever have on a camping trip. Still - we thrived. It was only little errors like forgetting bug spray, shower essentials, a pillow, and really having a tough time making a fire. I think the wood we bought was a little wet, so we can't really blame ourselves. By the first morning we got out shit together and could start a fire without a fret! It was a classic camping trip. We enjoyed hikin', collaborative paintin', good ol' hackeysackin', smores' roastin', hot dog makin', and of course some song writing. This song that Alex and I have been working on for a long time made its return, and I cannot express how amazing I think it is. Alex is so talented! I loved how much we discussed our camping "next times" and the incredible amount of reminiscing we did on our previous road trips. It's pretty obvious how much we enjoy these kind of excursions. Nothing beats these moments, I swear! ![]() The actually anniversary of my birth turned out to be quite special. Alex surprised me the night prior and once again pulled off a delicious two-tiered S’MORES cake, how crazy is that? He is seriously so thoughtful. The following day he had to leave for Rice, so I opted on having a perfect normal day all to myself (well, my brother was home but I did not see him until the dinner). I ran a good ol' 9 mile run, and it was really hard, but pushing myself is always something that leaves me proud and energized. Then I mostly just did work until the afternoon. My father and I went to Barnes and Nobles because there were two books I wanted to buy that Half-Priced Books didn't have. I also found a great CD, Torches by Foster The People. I jammed out to this while I drove myself, my brother, and my father to dinner that night. We met up with Alex and Justin at Mo' Better Brews, a new favorite, for my first time having dinner there. Boy was it spectacular, just look at the food! The croissant bread pudding was so satisfying, but as my father said, Alex's cake was better. When we got home we opened presents and I got some amazing things. Arian got me a wall-mounted CD player, which is PERFECT since I don't have a car to play all my CD's in my collection anymore! Alex got me these super cool pants, this gut bacteria pre-drinking hangover cure thing that I cannot wait to use, and the CUTEST t-Shirt that he designed himself! It is so sweetness! My father got me the new backpack I have been wanting and I have been adoring it since. Armin said his gift is on the way, so I will update when I receive it. You know - I usually get really anxious around my birthdays. Well not this time, and not really since either. We went out on Friday with our friends and I also had a couple of them over for a chill night at mine on Saturday. It was a perfect birthday, a perfect week, a perfect life. I am so grateful to have such amazing people who love me. I love you all, too! ![]() All right, I'm here to admit it. I am in a slump. There's nothing wrong with that, in fact, it feels liberating to put a reason to my disturbing behavior recently. I guess there's nothing too disturbing about my behavior, I would just really love to be a lot more productive and full of energy, but that has not been the case at all. In fact, I've been exhausted all the time, despite getting ample amount of sleep and doing mostly nothing all day. When I see you doing nothing, I really mean all I've been doing is either yes, nothing, or just working on my computer. So much working on my computer. I am exhausted from working at home and it's only been a couple of days. Before this I was working from San Diego, Austin, Alex's apartment, no I guess I'm really at home and for some reason figuring out how to settle back into a routine is quite impossible. I must confess (as well as cut myself some slack), it's been tough trying to settle into a routine when I haven't slept in the same place for more than two days in such a long time. So let me give a brief rundown of what life has looked like for me. On the last day of January Emily! and I drove to California, spending one day one night in El Paso in between. We stayed in San Diego for two nights, then LA the next night, and then in San Diego again until I left on Tuesday the 8th. Tuesday I stayed at Alex's, Wednesday I stayed at my mom's, Thursday stayed at Alex's, Friday and Saturday I stayed at my old place in Austin (Lili, Megan, and Madelines), Sunday and Monday I stayed at Alex's, Tuesday and Wednesday I stayed at my mom's, and then here we are, Thursday the 17th! Wow, how time flies. Okay yes, that was obviously too much unnecessary information just to say that I've not stayed in the same place for a long time. Not to mention that since I got back from Austin I started my period and got some sort of viral throat infection. On top of that I've been unable to work out and been eating quite unhealthy for the past week or so. So clearly there are a lot of factors relating to my status of slumpdomn, are the causes or effects, who knows! During this slump, though, I've come to a couple of realizations. First and foremost, I really would like my own home. I don't like staying at my mom's house, even though I made this room somewhere comfortable for me to be in. I wanna have my own space where I can grow as an independent person. Secondly, I really don't like working from home. Yeah - it's really liberating when I want the ability to freely travel, but when I want to be at home living a comfortable and stationary life, it sucks to not be able to escape my work life. Third, maybe I don't wanna work, the idea working eight hours a day is insane to me and I think, like Alex said, he's infected with me with this desire to just escape and be free. I want to be productive human, but on my own accord. I want to work everyday but work on building myself up as an individual, not just as a working member of society. I need to build myself up first before I'm able to build up those around me, and where I'm at right now is not that capable of a person. When I am able to do everything I wanna accomplish in a day for myself, such as read, write, work out, relax, and everything else I might wanna do, when I spend four hours of that day doing work it is far more productive than when I don't. I could wake up and dedicate the next 10 hours to my job and having done that without having achieved my personal daily aspirations would make that time less productive than a day that I spend 4 hours working but doing all the other things I want to do. Sorry, I know that was quite wordy but I hope you get the point. Fourth of all, do I really want to go to grad school? I recently accepted admission to NYU, finding out they actually offer me a $5000 grant per year. Is that worth celebrating, no, in fact I would've been much more happy to accept admission if they had not done that. What I did is remind me that I still have to spend about $75,000 each year to get the masters degree, even with that grant. I have to spend the rest of my life in debt! OK not actually the rest of my life but a good fat chunk of the next few years, and I don't believe I could have freedom while having debt. Yes, I don't have a great degree right now or a great job or a great guaranteed future, but I do have his money in my savings account. That's potential for something great, having -160k in my bank account leave me riddled with anxiety and a demand to work a job that I probably won't love just to get it paid off. Overall, I'm really second-guessing grad school right now. It was my rant, and if you read all of that, I'm thoroughly impressed at your ability to stay attentive to a whining and privileged young adult who is just in a goddamn simple and stupid slump. I guess that's the important takeaway, maybe all of these issues that have been weighing on my mind are just a consequence of not being in a place where I am focused on being the best version of myself. So, keeping that at the forefront of my mind, I'm gonna proceed the next five days or so really just trying to focus on myself. I know this will take a toll on my work, but surely they will understand because I have done nothing but work so hard for them in the past seven or (so months). Regardless of their understanding, I have to put myself first. I'm curious to see how my perceptions on these issues will change (or not change) once I come out on the other side a recovered and deslumped human being. ![]() I only have two days left here. I really want to keep qualifying that statement (such as the title) with "for now," but that is something I cannot be sure of. I feel compelled to come back here, at least eventually, but this is one of those situations where you are reminded about how unpredictable, uncontrollable, and expeditious life can be. But to my defense, the only reason I am leaving when it feels premature is because I have little doubt that I won't come back, because I do enjoy it here so much. On the notion of prematurity, I am unsure if it would ever feel otherwise. The reality of my previous living situations involved an eagerness to move on to the next phase around this time, half way through the lease. I have not felt even slightly this way. This could be because my departure has been impending, but also because this is clearly an ideal way of life. My roommates were originally planning on leaving at the same time as I, it was the notion that we all had when originally moving in together. They changed their mind, and I am surprised I did not. It obviously has to do with my new financial independence, it is simply just not economically viable for me to continue to live here. This was obvious when I had no expectation to have a job during this time, but now I have a full time remote job. Although this gives me greater financial capacity, the remote aspect of this job just makes me feel more compelled to leave Austin. That is - to leave Austin to travel, not to settle down in Houston. Houston is not a bad place. I have my family, my parents and my brother, as well as Alex. He played a strong role in my rational for moving back. Wanting to visit him, and no longer having the restrictions that came with the fall semester, I'd imagine that I would spend a lot of time traveling between the cities. If I succeed in selling my car, this would be far more difficult, and perhaps my stints in Houston would be elongated to the point that paying to live in Austin feels like a waste. So here I am, room packed up and ready to move back in with my parents. I am not going to enjoy living there, as no adult enjoys the confinement of their mental liberty that stems from living with your parents. I mean, it is not that they are strict, but I will obviously have to do regular chores, coordinate with my family, and just general feel less at ease. This is typically how I feel when I am at home, uncomfortable. This, though, is not a bad thing. In fact, this discomfort played an important role in my original plan. I anticipate the urge to get out of my family's home and go elsewhere. Alex is always an option, but it is a little too close to comfort. Living in Austin would leave me secure, not pushing myself into tough situations that would evolve into personal growth. Living at home will challenge me in a productive way. More importantly, the lack of comfortability will make me more eager to travel and explore the world. Disappointingly, I am less confident in my capacity to do this ever since the trip to Amsterdam. Traveling was a bit anxiety inducing, and I was not even alone. Realistically, the COVID situation of it all played a majority role in that. Although the stressful nature of adventuring during a peak of the pandemic would probably constitute the personal growth I seek, it seems like those opportunities would better serve me if I wait until things get a little safer. So - I will probably be at home a lot, but that is okay. Oh! I almost forgot to mention, as of now I have a couple small travel plans already. Next weekend, Alex and I are flying to NYC and spending the weekend there. Sunday, he will return, while I will stay and await the arrival of my mother (and maybe brother). Then we will return Tuesday. The objective of this trip is to embrace New York City as the potential location of my next two years, as I got excepted into the Global Affairs master's program at NYU. Then, on January 31st, Zara and I are joining Emily on a drive to San Diego. We would crash at her boyfriends, Colburn, while she figures out where in California she will be living. I will either join her and moving into her place, likely in Santa Barbara, or return with Zara on a flight home. I am very excited, and truthfully, hope we spend as much time as possible in San Diego. Gosh, I love that place. To return to the original subject, these are my last days in Austin and I wish I was able to do more here. Much of my bucket-list remained unchecked: visiting the roller rink, Rose Room, the botanical gardens, Bull and Bowl, the list could go on. But like I said, I am not sure I would ever find a point of satisfaction where I feel good about leaving here. This house is amazing, in terms of homeyness, location, and price! What has been more crucial to my enjoyment here is my wonderful roommates, Lili and Megan. I truthfully could not imagine better people to live with, and I am going to miss them so much. Tonight, I plan on cooking them Koreshte Gheymeh, a traditional Persian dish that I have been meaning to cook for my roommates since i made it with Alex. That is the plan for tonight. Tomorrow, I will get the Uhaul at 3pm and continue to empty my room. I anticipate a final Backlot night (the bar next door). It is a sad conclusion to this period of my life, but it has honestly been close to perfect. Austin, 37th St, roomies, I will miss you all so dearly!
![]() It looks like we have made it to the new year, but the progressions I have made in 2021 or failed to be documented in this blog. I don't blame myself too much, as my last Mr. college. To be the most challenging few months I have probably ever faced. It was a really tough semester, but I am so happy and excited to have made it through the other side. The time . I find myself in right now is meant to be focus on bringing myself back to square one - in terms of who I am. The fall semester depicted the most accurate college experience, reminding me of my freshman year: work hard, play hard. I did exactly that, but it definitely came at a cost. I probably could've relaxed more, but being that this was my last time to see's being a college student in the city of Austin, I really wanted to ensure that I made the most of the social opportunities I had here. I accomplish that, but I think I lost myself along the way. This can be seen in my inability to accomplish a lot of the resolutions I made for 2021. Some of them were not exactly my fault, as a lot of my fitness goals were halted by breaking my wrist in early August. These are all goals that I will carry on into this next year, such as running a marathon, running 1000 miles in 2022 (Which I was only short by 40 miles), doing a pull up, learning to handstand, and getting into yoga. I also didn't manage to sell my car but I don't think that would've been the smartest decision to make considering the timeline of my situation, but that is ago I will carry on to 2022 and hopefully achieve relatively soon. I also did not pay nearly as much as I wanted to but I simply did not have the time. I can't wait to have the capacity to paint again, the joy you brought me is truly a comparable to any other hobby I have. I also have been journaling, as of Halloween actually. Trying to journal daily is a part of my New Year's a solution as well, hopefully doesn't conflict with the entries on this blog, since they often overlap. I want to start posting on here more, documenting my travels more frequently, but also just my general thoughts. I was thinking about adding a section to input my thoughts on things, inspired by Alex. This would be movies, books, or just general things I learned about or am intrigued by. Another goal I derived from Alex is to read a new book every month. I'm currently reading Children of Dune and Wildlife in the Anthropocene, and hopefully I will finish both soon. More strategically, I really need to get a credit card. It's not something I really want to do, but it something I know I need to do, so hopefully I get educated about that process and make an ethical decision when it comes to choosing a company. I think my main goal this year is to focus on my mental health. I definitely got into a little point around October where I was genuinely worried about the state of my anxiety and how it could impact the rest of my life. I really didn't feel like I had the time to focus on that, and that doing so would lead to the neglect of my other responsibilities. Can you show myself either a product of my situation and that when this is all over I will realize that I don't have a problem, or that after graduation I would have nothing but time to focus on improving my mental health. Around December I decided that the former was true, but now I am starting to think that that might not be the case. Regardless I don't know, but I'm excited to explore those thoughts in my emotional state in order to improve myself. That's also a big reason I want to get into yoga, I sort of a intermediate to becoming someone who can meditate. I am really poor at relaxing. My mind is always racing and I am incapable of shutting off my brain. This reminds me of my mother, but I am not sure this is who I am. I used to be so "chill," as cliche as that sounds, but I really do think I am that person. I can't wait to find her again!
Hey blog - long time no type. I apologize for not writing more, I know future Auva and present Auva are both disappointed! This semester has been really tough. Between 12 hours of classes, studying for the GRE, applying to grad school, TA-ing at the LBJ school, working for the A2SI project, and balancing all this with an ample social life to end my college - I haven't had much free time. I am in disbelief that I am about to graduate college, time went too quickly thanks to a pandemic that overran almost 2 years of college. I chose to graduate early so I could travel and enjoy a semester off before grad school, to liberate myself. I really hope that ends up happening.
There is so much I plan on doing once this is all over. First and foremost, I am determined to travel, I want to see the world (as cliche as that sounds). I have savings that I put aside just to make this happen, but as the opportunity approaches, I feel more weary that it won't. At minimum, I should be able to spend a month with my family in Vancouver. I remain optimistic that something will come up, either alone or accompanied by friend(s), or perhaps more interestingly strangers! Regardless of where I am, there are so many things I want to do to better myself. Some of these things include updating this blog often, doing yoga daily, running more, painting again, reading so many books, journaling daily, the opportunities are endless! I also really hope to work on my mental health, as I have been struggling to relax. I recall how I used to be - I envy her. She was so carefree and thought nothing could go wrong. Nothing has gone wrong - so I guess I was right. Now, nothing seems to go wrong because I incessantly stress about making sure things are flawless. I hope I move on from this, as I suspect this is only a product of this stressful last semester of college. Regardless, I will either find out that I am perfectly fine and am capable of relaxation and "chillness" or I will have the time to work on myself to get through my recent period of anxiety. Alex has been there for me more than I could ever ask for, and I cannot express my appreciation for him. Anyways - I'll attach some photos of recent happenings at the top of this, just so you can visualize the glorified version of my last few weeks. Oh - and happy belated birthday hun! Celebrating my birthday was always something that I loved, but unfortunately that love translated to painfully high expectations. I yearn for a "perfect" day (as if one exists), so I try so hard to make it unnecessarily special and in doing so I face disappoint. When things don't go as planned it tends to hit me harder than it should. Last year my birthday was spent mostly alone, as I had to post-sourth-padre-spring-break quarantine (after quite a lot of backlash for going. Not being able to celebrate through any means, along with multiple friends forgetting about my birthday, left me really disappointed. For my 19th birthday, I was able to celebrate, but that didn’t stop me from being let down by those I set expectations for. I wish I wouldn't care as much but I can't help it. Last year I recall being optimistic that by my 21st, the world would be back to normal. This obviously wasn’t the case. We are still in the middle of a pandemic and although things aren’t as strange as they used to be, it is not something that we had the privilege to dismiss as in the past. Also, having a test scheduled on 9am Tuesday, the morning of my birthday, I saw a little reason to get excited for the 30th of March. I consciously tried not to develop any expectations because I didn’t wanna be let down. That’s exactly why I chose not to plan anything. By planning things, I accept opportunities for things not to go according to plan, which probably frustrates me more than planning things satisfies me. Seeing this, my sweet boyfriend Alex decided to take this in his own hands. The spark of my optimism towards my birthday was fueled by Alex, who encouraged me to get excited for the special day. Consequently, I developed some minor expectations regarding the birthday, but still actively tried to suppress these thoughts. My optimism only furthered when I was able to set an appointment for my first dose of the Covid vaccine is Saturday before my birthday. Really, all I wanted was to be vaccinated prior to turning 21, and knowing that this process would be started by my birthday really encouraged me. I felt more comfortable to plan something with my friends and go out for my birthday, in a socially responsible way of course.
I continued enjoying my time with Alex that night, and we planned on going to the corner store at midnight to buy products that I previously could not as a 20-year-old. We completely forgot about the Texas law that doesn’t allow you to purchase these items after midnight, but we still planned on it. When the clock struck 12, we got up out of bed and went to exit the apartment. I opened the door, and standing right in front of me with a bottle of 21 year old juice and a gift in hand were my two very close friends Megan and Ryan. Alex was to my side and my roommate Lili was behind us, who was clearly trying to sneak them in before I attempted to walk out of the apartment. I was in complete shock and full of laughter at the chance of that happening, and even asked Alex if he knew this was happening. He did not, and it was Lili who coordinated with Ryan and Meagan to surprise me. We had a good chat and my heart was drenched with appreciation - I don’t know if they realize how much that moment meant to me. Unfortunately I couldn’t stay up much longer because of my exam, so I said goodnight and Alex and I went to bed. Although I was excited for it to be the next day, I was not excited to take the test in the morning. In light of this I went to bed fairly quickly and had a good night's sleep - so much so that I woke up naturally at exactly 7:32 AM. At this moment I grabbed my phone to check the time and noticed a notification from my professor. At 7:28 AM, just minutes prior to my natural awakening, he had sent us an announcement. He let us know that our test, that was supposed to begin in two hours, was going to be postponed to Thursday morning. My professor also mentioned that this was because someone brought it to his attention that two of the lectures corresponding to our exam were not available on the website. Guess who that someone was (it was me!). I didn’t even send him the email in hopes of getting a test postponed, in fact I didn’t even need those lectures, I simply just sent him the email to let him know. But I promise, I was fully prepared to take the exam. Regardless, I was so excited that I didn’t have to take the test on my birthday, and even more proud of the fact that it was I that made that happen! Alex was obviously super excited too, but he wasn’t anticipating this and was still obviously very tired because it was so early in the morning. I tried to go back to bed, but since I woke up to such exciting news I was immediately full of energy and ready to get the day going. What can I say, it was my birthday - and I managed to let myself (duh) get excited! After an hour of trying to get some more rest, but mainly deciding what I wanted to do with my newly free morning, Alex awoke and we prepared to get moving. I decided that I wanted to go to Trader Joe’s. I know that seems kind of strange but also basic in a weird way, but I truly just enjoy grocery shopping. I also have been needing to go grocery shopping, but it had been difficult to find the time. I wouldn’t typically go to Trader Joe’s, but since it was my birthday I thought I would make it a little more exciting by doing my shopping there. Also, unfortunately for Alex I decided that Trader Joe’s was not enough and did it the rest of my shopping at Whole Foods - overkill. We came home and put up all my groceries and decided to go on a lime ride to urban outfitters. I rarely shop from retail stores, so I thought I’d allow myself to do so since it was my birthday and I had time for it. I ended up not buying anything because there was nothing that I liked. Alex and I walked back - going on walks with my boyfriend is always one of my favorite things to do. Upon returning home, my birthday present from my brother, Armin, arrived so I opened it with excitement. It was a beautiful set of jars to grow herbs yourself, which I have previously failed at. I set up the plants and put them in the sunlight right before heading to work, and I was in such an amazing mood. My day at work is pretty standard, and I don’t really have much to make a note of. I would say the only disappointing part of my day was someone accidentally eating a single vegan cupcake that was purchased among dozens of other non-vegan cupcakes, which was specifically done for my birthday! I was definitely at least slightly irritated, but I think the fact that I was in such a good mood, as well as the fact that nothing could be that delicious carrot cake I had, just made me laugh at the situation. My workday went by quickly and the next thing I knew it was 5 PM and I was on my way home. When I got home I saw a beautiful ring and necklace left on my desk that was given to me by my roommate Kendall. She also left a little note explaining the meaning behind the pieces, and it was so meaningful - I appreciated it so much. I also have received an Amazon package from my mother which was a cute workout top and shorts that I had been eyeing for a long time. I don’t, or at least I only rarely purchase things from Amazon so it’s not something I would’ve bought for myself, but definitely something that I wanted. I began to get ready for my day and did my hair and my make up, and wore a yellow top and a black skirt (mostly because I know Alex loves me in the color yellow). When I asked him to pick me up he had two beautiful lavender flowers in his hands, which he always does but it never fails to put the biggest smile on my face. He also had a little box which he painted for me, and on the inside were 12 little notes detailing 12 things he loves about me. It was really hard not to cry, but I stayed strong for the sake of my make up. He also got me some interesting tees that I can’t wait to try, I’m not really sure at one point he gave them to me just because he got lost in the plethora of gifts he got for me. I put my flowers in some water and then we headed out to the domain in North Austin. We plan on eating at this restaurant called Yard House, mostly because they had a bloody Mary which I was incessant on getting. They also had a bunch of vegan options for us to snack on along with our drinks. We sat outside and the weather was wonderful, and watching the sun go down allowed for us to have an amazing view of the sky. Dinner was mostly just Alex and I goofing off, and me getting just a little drunk. A funny incident that happened was when the manager came out to our table to let us know that they accidentally gave us the non-vegan version of their pizza. He was so relieved to see that despite having it on her table for at least five minutes, neither of us have touched it. We laughed about how much of a close call it was, but after the manager left us with the vegan pizza, we started to question if he was right in the switch up. We inspected the pizza and were quickly relieved to find out that it was in fact a vegan pizza. It was kind of funny though that the vegan version looks way less vegan than the regular version. After our dinner we decided to check out a comedy club that Alex had found, so we headed back towards home. We actually went to the domain because we thought that’s where the comedy club was, but then we found out that the one we wanted to go to was actually on 38th St. So we arrived at the comedy club only to find out that it was full. I didn’t mind too much but I felt bad because Alex was really excited when he made this plan for us. But we decided that instead we wanted to check out hole in the wall, a bar on Guadalupe that is kind of iconic but not necessarily in a good way. Alex‘s roommate Henry had mentioned he wanted to go so we both let our friends know that we were going to stop for some drinks there, which we did! A couple of my friends and a couple of Alex‘s friends met up with us at the bar, and we enjoyed a couple of drinks as we laughed and enjoyed the night. Knowing that this was completely unplanned, but still arguably one of the best points of my day, really reinforces the idea that I should start planning things as much! But, that can’t go that far to dissuade me, because my night, actually my whole day was so amazing because of the planning Alex did for me. After the bar we went home and enjoyed the rest of the cake as well as a doughnut that Lily had gotten for me and passed out after a long amazing day we had.
Unfortunately the weather wasn’t perfect, but I feel like I did not take away from experience at all. A really funny incident that occurred was us forgetting the auxiliary cord for the boat and having to pull back into the dock just one minute after pulling out of it. Then after finally getting that auxiliary cord, we did not manage to figure out how to get the speakers to work so we were playing music from our phones way below a reasonable volume. Eventually Alex, my hero, gets the speaker to work and we enjoy the rest of the boat trip jamming to some amazing music, drinking some great legal beverages, and dancing around on the boat. I am so lucky to have such an amazing boyfriend and a fantastic group of friends to celebrate with. After the boat we just got some dinner and chilled for the rest of the night before I had to go to sleep around 10 PM, because I was exhausted from all the fun I have been happening all week.
My 21st birthday turned out to be probably my best birthday ever. Who needs expectations when you have the best people around you to make you feel so special? I did not get a week vacation as a hoped for what I anticipate to be my last college spring break. Rather than a full week to relax, I had to work 8am until 5pm for the first half, Monday through Wednesday. I accepted this and knew it might not be worth taking a vacation since I am still twenty years old. I hope I get to adventure as freely as I want to this summer.
Wednesday night I snuck out of work a couple of minutes early to meet Alex and his family in Bastrop, Texas. They had camped their the night before and I was going to camp with Alex that night and they would head back home. Before they left, I met with them in downtown Bastrop where we walked around the river and had a nice snack at the cutest bakery. Tough Cookie Bakery is a must stop place in the city, and they had so many vegan options. Honestly, Bastrop was a lot cuter of a town than I expected! Camping that night was obviously as perfect as camping with my best friend could possibly be. The next morning we tandem biked up an awful hill but it was worth the rewarding view. We went back into town to grab lunch at the same bakery and took another stroll around the river. Walking around cute places with my boyfriend is perhaps when I feel the most joy. Eventually we decided it was time to head back home to Houston, and we parted ways to meet back up with our family in good old Friendswood, Texas. I am really trying to figure out if I am surprised at the way March has been going. I like to think that March is my favorite month of the year. Now this isn’t just because it is my birthday month, but also because of spring break, good weather, and the start of a new season, spring - where I get to celebrate Persian New Year’s! Last month was ridiculously hectic with the snowstorm and school getting canceled for quite some time. I’m happy that I let myself relax but I wanted to get back on my regular routine. I was very confident that in doing so, March would have to be an amazing month. Now to ensure my routine was structured and organized the way I like it I did a couple of things. I got back into the routine of jotting down all of my goals for a particular day, other than the morning of or the day before. I also got into the habit of an easy but fulfilling morning routine. Upon waking up I would water my plants, brush my teeth, wash my face, and then get my tea brewing. While I was waiting for my tea to heat up I would do a couple of morning stretches and a very short exercise. I’ve been making my bed and sipping my tea while I jot down my dreams from the previous night, as well as filling out my health and fitness journal. If I had time before my first class I would read a little bit of my book too. Now this is pretty much what I did every morning so far, and honestly has been really nice. Regardless of this, March has been such a challenging month. My school has not been going as well as I’m used to, and I’ve let that really affect my mood. I am typically a straight A student so any grade I receive that is an A- or below will immediately ruin my mood and tarnish my self confidence. I know it’s understandable that school has been hard - because of the snow storm, the pandemic, in general stresses and other aspects of my life - but geez do I really really hate getting B’s. On top of this I kind of reconsidered my entire life past. That sounds really dramatic but essentially decided that instead of going straight into law school after I graduate, I think I wanna get my masters first. I’m not throwing the idea of going to law school out the window, I just think that getting my masters first is a step in the right direction for the specific goals I want to accomplish in my future. To be honest, this realization didn’t stress me out as much as I thought it would, but I am now scrambling to prepare myself for this new direction. Alex has been helping a lot but there still so much I don’t understand. Also explaining this to my mom was really difficult because she just doesn’t really understand what I wanna do with my life. I guess I also don’t really know what I wanna do with my life but I’m confident that this is going to take me in the proper direction. I wish she had that same confidence. My personal life has also gotten really stressful. Although it is really normal, any conflict or disagreements with the people you live with will always bring a weight of discomfort on your shoulders. My living situation has been fine, besides a couple roommate squabbles and frustrations with someone not taking out the trash or washing dishes. For some reason, I’ve been letting a little thing stress me out more than I should. My roommates are really understanding and I should try to relax a little more when it comes to what I let impact my mood. Because of this pandemic, I spent so much time at home to try to make it my sanctuary, but that’s a lot of pressure to put on a shared living environment. Speaking of shared living - I had yet another Covid scare, which had me wearing a mask in my own home. It was short-lived but it is just always such a stressful thing to think about. I’ve also been trying really really hard to be healthy, and the anxiety that my expectations bring has been really difficult to accept. I’ve been working out a lot, which I am proud of, and eating very healthy (or mostly healthy). Despite this I haven’t seen the results that would make me feel like the effort has been worth it. I think that goes back to me being willing to work extremely hard if it means getting that gratification as quickly as possible. But when it comes to your health and body, you can’t really rush it and I have to accept that. I also recently criticized my boyfriend on not planning as much as I wish she would, but I feel guilty about it because he shouldn’t have to. We are both going through so much in regards to school and our personal lives. I hate the idea of putting another stress on his plate. He has been there for me beyond what I could ever ask for, and it means so much. Two nights ago we had such a romantic day where he surprised me by taking me out to a nice restaurant downtown and mini golfing afterwards. Probably the hardest part about this month so far has been seeing the people I care about experience pain. When you really know someone and what they deserve, it is so hard seeing them struggle to figure that out on their own. It really puts life in perspective. Yeah - pain is really hard - but it is impossible to have any happiness without it. If you took away all of someone’s pains then they would probably be the most boring and ignorant person you would know. I should really be taking my own advice when it comes to taking a step back to appreciate what you have going on. When it comes to pain, you have to take it for what it is and take advantage of it as a learning opportunity. So although March may have been a difficult month so far, it’s really only just begun, and I’m not gonna let the past dictate my future. I’m going to try to be more eager to take on learning experiences even if they may be difficult. I can’t wait to see how the rest of this month plays out. This chapter of twenty year old Auva is coming to an end, and I am excited. |